Edibles ~ August 4, 2009

Edibles
August 4, 2009

The farmers market was full today with plenty of buyers enjoying the sun, the goods, and it seemed most everyone had smiles to share. Many vendors lined both sides of the stalls as we all walked down the center aisle trying to find what we most wanted and who had the best produce for the best price. Most farmers there are locals from the outlying areas of Grand Rapids, Michigan, who take the short drive in to sell their just picked gold at very low prices. It is one of my favorite things to do in the city because I can look at an oversized zucchini and nearly taste the options for stuffing it, Italian style or Lebanese style being my two favorites. A peek at a pile of pickling cucumbers and the whiff of fresh dill blossoms makes my mouth water at the options of making our own pickles to enjoy all winter long. Roma tomatoes make me crave the taste of a great homemade marinara. Corn on the cob and a poblano pepper makes me think that I can blend some butter with chopped poblano until it’s smooth and has the most beautiful pistachio green color, then brush it on the corn while it finishes cooking on the grill. Heaven.

Yesterday I had decided that I would pack the kids and my 13 year old nephew into the car to meet the people who grow the food they will eat. They would learn more about picking good produce, instead of settling for what the local store will pass off as acceptable, when really, it’s not. They’d see carrots with tops and dirt on them. They would learn what a green onion really is and that the bottom doesn’t have to just be white, but can be a gorgeous purple red because it would have grown up to be a red onion instead. They would see the hundreds of choices of things to eat and help choose them for meals. And, because of all of them love food as much as I do, they would love the experience. All of this and more really did happen today.

My nephew was the one who noted how little the six huge bags we filled cost in the end. Twenty-five dollars wouldn’t have gone that far in the grocery store. He marveled at it. To him that meant more money for other things, plus more food to eat. That was a win-win situation if he’d ever heard one! He was right.

The kids and I met some really interesting people and this might be just as important as the lessons on picking produce and getting it locally grown whenever possible. They needed to know that there are faces behind the food they eat, someone who babied the seedlings and plants, just as the kids also do in the garden they planted this year. It’s important to understand who the people are and how thankful we should be that they do this work that so few people seem to find acceptable, and fewer still know how to do. Without them, there would be nothing. Food doesn’t magically appear in the back of a grocery store or on the shelves. Faces are behind it. The fresher the images of the faces who grow the food are to us, the fresher the food. I wanted them to really understand that concept.

One who stood out most was an older man who reminded me a great deal of my Italian grandmother’s brother, Uncle Oscar. He also loved food, cooking and growing things. He taught me a lot as a child about growing things and about food in general. So I was drawn to his booth for reasons that he couldn’t have known. He just felt familiar somehow.

I looked over his booth and found a lot of good things to eat, in fact, my two most exciting purchases of the day were from him---a gigantic zucchini just waiting to be stuffed, baked and savored; and he also had a very rare find: squash blossoms. These are so hard to find that I have not even had a stuffed and sautéed squash blossom since Uncle Oscar grew them, picked them, and made them for me one day for lunch when I was a kid. (Italians always want to feed you, which is a lovely thing. And when you are willing to try anything, they get very, very excited.) I bought a batch to make some stuffed squash blossoms myself and let the kids all enjoy some of a bygone heritage food that they’d never find in a store.

I shared my story of squash blossoms, my great Uncle and my excitement over finding those and the stuffing zucchini. He was genuinely thrilled. “You can’t please everybody so it’s good to know I got it right this time, “ he said with a huge grin and a little clap of his hands. He engaged the kids in some friendly conversation for quite a while, asking names and energetically pumping his fists at one part of his story which made the boys, and himself, laugh. He was a delight, and I am sure his food will be too.

I suppose all parents think they have at least one Superhero in the family--someone who steadily battles whatever injustices they see. In our case, we feel like we have three and we adore them all for their own personal fights. And, as displayed here, we have a few curious pieces of photographic evidence.

Drop the cape and you have Noah, an amazingly bright little first grader who can read with kids a few grades ahead of his and thinks numbers are just fun games. He recently polished off an extra packet of work (sent to keep his mind busy) that was first grade algebra. It was a week's worth of work. But the teacher stapled it together and Noah has a thing about finishing a project he starts. The world ends if he doesn't finish once he starts a project. He was done in 15 minutes. No help. Just a pencil and his mind bending magic.

But like Superman, Noah has his kryptonite. Anything that is not expected or in his routine will cause an alarm to go off. He'll cry. He'll howl. He might hide under a table. At first, as parents we weren't too accomodating to these outbursts. We did not understand how someone who could think so well could lose it so easily over trivial matters such as glue sticks that were "clumpy", or sandwiches with jelly squishing out the side. It sure looks like a tantrum and that's how we treated it. It was innappropriate behavior. And, it is. That's still true. But, we've come to learn a lot more about this kryptonite.

Noah has something called Asperger's Syndrome which is related to autism. Unlike with autism, kids with Asperger's Syndrome tend not to have delays in language but, in fact, extraordinarily highly developed language. Noah's first words were not "da da" or "ma ma". No. They were "Dinosaur" and "Afflak" (he liked their advertising duck). He didn't really have any "baby" words. And, we've always loved how he can talk and talk...especially to adults or older kids.

He is exceptionally high functioning even among other Asperger's kids. But he has a lot of trouble understanding appropriate behaviors, reading social cues, figuring out emotions of others, understanding jokes, sarcasm or idioms. Sometimes he gets distracted into his own little bubble where he is, it seems, thinking of something of great interest to him. He has other little quirks like repetitive behaviors, hand flapping, jumping around like a little monkey, and this habit of blinking at bright lights or keeping his eyes at half mast around them. Even his Superman photo shows some evidence of that particular Noah quirk.

We work with Noah a lot on things in order to provide him with some early intervention now. I like to think of this as smoothing a few bumps in his road in order to make it a more pleasant ride. He doesn't have to change who he is, and frankly, that's impossible. This is a neurological issue, often characterized by early childhood seizure activity, which he also had. But Noah can learn to read social cues by having them taught to him as if he was learning spanish or french. It is a language--a non-verbal language. And unlike most of us, Noah can't learn this language on his own precisely because it is a non-verbal language. We must turn it into a logical language for him to understand it. Already he is making progress.

We teach idioms every week as well. Again, it's fact based. He likes to know why people started saying that when they mean this. That, for our little Spock, is completely Illogical. For example, if you tell Noah "it's raining cats and dogs outside" he thinks you are insane and not too bright, but he will kindly stop to explain to you that it is impossible for cats and dogs to rain. Only water rains because it comes from the clouds in the sky. (I don't know where he even learned that yet. He's a fact collector.) So I explained to him that some people say that because back in the old days when there were thatched rooftops, mice would go up there and then cats or dogs would follow them up to the top, and sometimes, especially after the roof was older and it was raining a lot, things often fell through the roof...including the cats and dogs. With that story it was suddenly logical. And from now on he'll understand that idiom. Problem solved---for that idiom anyway. Simply repeat with every idiom ever said. (Take a day and note how many idioms you say in passing. You'll be surprised. We were. And to think he was taking us literally at each one for 7 years. I am surprised he has any faith that we have intelligence!)

Since this is neurological, there are also a lot of studies about the inner ear, balance, sensory programs and things in this area being very helpful to kids working with these issues. Schools now have not a single penny extra for funding anything. So our elementary school, which has a disproportionately high number of children with Asperger's Syndrome and other spectrum disorders, decided to have the PTA fund some equipment for a Sensory and Movement program, completely run by us specially trained parent volunteers who work in conjunction with the school psychologist, school occupational therapist and school social worker, as well as teachers and the principal. Mostly, parents of kids who need this program are helping to run it. So we work with certain kids from the entire student body base in the morning, and then I work again with specific kids in the afternoon from the first grade classes while others in that grade are getting extra help in reading or other areas of particular need. Everything from pilates balance balls, tunnels, balance boards, swings, exercise bands and even weighted blankets are used. At the end yoga is often used to calm and return to class. It's amazing how well this program is working and how the kids are developing little coping skills when they are stressed, instead of screaming, hitting or crying like they once used to. And they are able to benefit from increased focus once they return to class.

The rates for Asperger's Syndrome are rising at an alarming rate. So far, no one has any evidence to back up suspected reasons for this. There aren't even enough doctors around to diagnose or help kids and families with Asperger's Syndrome or autism. You likely know one or more people with this particular disorder. But, unlike some may think when hearing about it, anyone could spot these kids in a crowd. We just attended a school Holiday music program (all three hours of it) and you can pick out these kids easily. We have more than one of them in our family, but that's for another story. Now it's time to begin yet another day. Let's hope Noah's socks go on his feet this morning without any crooked toe seams, or lint, or.... the possibilities for setting off his alarm are endless. That's why coping skills for him (and for us) are so important.

Magic Shoes

Dorothy's ruby red slippers in the Wizard of Oz were the first shoes I ever thought of as having a source of some magical power. As a kid, I'd watch that movie and wish I had a pair of shoes that could transform me, make me brave even when I was scared, and take me to new, unimagined places. I never really found shoes in reality that could do any of that, until this past Labor Day weekend.

We did some shopping for the start of school. The boys were easy, choosing pretty much exactly as I'd have expected for their own personal styles. But my daughter, our oldest child, surprised us and left me standing in a stunned admiration.

Watching Katherine, a month ago, suddenly go from having long hair that was easy to hide behind to a new angled cut very short in back sloping to a point at her chin was beautiful. But that was nothing compared to witnessing her go from a random fashion style that consisted primarily of wrinkled fitted tee shirts and jeans, painfully trying to just blend in at all costs, to choosing almost all grey and black outfit combinations with stylish black capri length leggings. It was charming. I asked if she was going "goth" and she answered "Well, Goth people don't like the sun...and I do. So no." I nodded as if I was up on all the details in the Goth Handbook.

Soon it was time for her to pick out her new shoes. She wanted, very specifically, black canvas high-topped Converse tennis shoes with white toes and laces.

"Really?" I asked, with perhaps too much shocked glee in my voice for her comfort.

"Yes," she answered nervously as she bit her thumbnail and let her hair slide in front of her left eye.

We found them in Target and she carefully tried on her new shoes. All angles and attributes were studied by her for almost 30 minutes. Was the heel ok? The toe? How tight should she tie them? She may have decided upon a strong style but her cautious sensibilities were still showing. It made it all the more adorable. Her dad and I were grinning above her head as we shot each other looks that asked "Can you believe this?"

Katherine has always, and I mean from birth, been shy and nervous. Nothing made her feel safe--not light, dark, sound, quiet, touches, being alone, or even food could comfort her as a baby. I have never seen anything like it. If she wasn't born of my own womb, I would have sworn she was a crack baby. The doctors concluded that she has an anxiety disorder, which is just to say she is overly nervous about....well, everything. So, to watch her blossom suddenly into this artsy, semi-gothy, fifth grader was not just a mom being tickled by witnessing her daughter's latest style being carefully designed. No. I knew the immense stretch and great amount of bravery this was requiring from her. We live in a very conservative, logo-centric, suburban area. People here blend in. Katherine was choosing, of her own will, to stand out. No other girl in her school will be wearing those shoes. Fifth grade is an especially cut throat place where any deviation from the standard can be socially poisonous. This was huge! I have never been so proud.

Later that night she came to me, long after she was to be in bed, just to hug me and say quietly, "Thanks Mom...for letting me get those shoes. I really love them." She bit her fingernail again, with a grin. Katherine was truly glowing. Bravery lit her spirit.

Magical Shoes

Dorothy's ruby red slippers in the Wizard of Oz were the first shoes I ever thought of as having a source of some magical power. As a kid, I'd watch that movie and wish I had a pair of shoes that could transform me, make me brave even when I was scared, and take me to new, unimagined places. I never really found shoes in reality that could do any of that, until this past Labor Day weekend.

We did some shopping for the start of school. The boys were easy, choosing pretty much exactly as I'd have expected for their own personal styles. But my daughter, our oldest child, surprised us and left me standing in a stunned admiration.

Watching Katherine, a month ago, suddenly go from having long hair that was easy to hide behind to a new angled cut very short in back sloping to a point at her chin was beautiful. But that was nothing compared to witnessing her go from a random fashion style that consisted primarily of wrinkled fitted tee shirts and jeans, painfully trying to just blend in at all costs, to choosing almost all grey and black outfit combinations with stylish black capri length leggings. It was charming. I asked if she was going "goth" and she answered "Well, Goth people don't like the sun...and I do. So no." I nodded as if I was up on all the details in the Goth Handbook.

Soon it was time for her to pick out her new shoes. She wanted, very specifically, black canvas high-topped Converse tennis shoes with white toes and laces.

"Really?" I asked, with perhaps too much shocked glee in my voice for her comfort.

"Yes," she answered nervously as she bit her thumbnail and let her hair slide in front of her left eye.

We found them in Target and she carefully tried on her new shoes. All angles and attributes were studied by her for almost 30 minutes. Was the heel ok? The toe? How tight should she tie them? She may have decided upon a strong style but her cautious sensibilites were still showing. It made it all the more adorable. Her dad and I were grinning above her head as we shot each other looks that asked "Can you believe this?"

Katherine has always, and I mean from birth, been shy and nervous. Nothing made her feel safe--not light, dark, sound, quiet, touches, being alone, or even food could comfort her as a baby. I have never seen anything like it. If she wasn't born of my own womb, I would have sworn she was a crack baby. The doctors concluded that she has an anxiety disorder, which is just to say she is overly nervous about....well, everything. So, to watch her blossom suddenly into this artsy, semi-gothy, fifth grader was not just a mom being tickled by witnessing her daughter's latest style being carefully designed. No. I knew the immense stretch and great amout of bravery this was requiring from her. We live in a very conservative, logo-centric, suburban area. People here blend in. Katherine was choosing, of her own will, to stand out. No other girl in her school will be wearing those shoes. Fifth grade is an especially cut throat place where any deviation from the standard can be socially poisonous. This was huge! I have never been so proud.

Later that night she came to me, long after she was to be in bed, just to hug me and say quietly, "Thanks Mom...for letting me get those shoes. I really love them." She bit her fingernail again, with a grin. Katherine was truly glowing. Bravery lit her spirit.

A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing or Not? Who can say?

Normally, you won't find me writing much about politics. Even this blog is less about politics and more about people and groups falling into the old habits of providing severely unbalanced information during election times.

This is a source of endless frustration to me because everywhere I look I am finding examples of this behavior. Moments after I received the email and video below, my husband received a call from people working for Newt Gingrich regarding oil barrels in Colorado and gas prices. It was the same unbalanced information smearing that has created a haze over people in our country.

I suppose there is something in human nature that wants to divide things into two categories: "good vs evil". But this is not a comic book hero made into a Hollywood movie. This is real life and it's not so easy as good versus evil. This unbalanced propaganda is damaging the real purpose behind each cause so it ends up backfiring. If the political parties and lobby groups wonder why we, as a nation, have been growing more and more disillusioned they need to look no further than their own desks.

What follows is my email reply and request to an email I received from a wildlife interest group, which no doubt has a generally good heart at the center of the cause. The initial email from them follows my reply.
***************************************


Thank you for the video, but could you also please put together something that explains what Governor Palin's thought process or reasoning was for introducing the aerial hunting program?

I am a registered Independent voter and the reason I am such is so that I do not fall prey to one party's issue or the other. We should not make important decisions without balanced information. I fear this is coming off as strongly unbalanced currently, and if you could provide some of Governor Palin's reasonings, then perhaps the main focus of the effort you've worked so hard to put forward ---to protect wildlife--- will not appear to be simple and typical party politics. This is important due to the huge and growing amount of people who now consider themselves Independents largely because of being so disturbed by the overshadowing of party politics on the real needs of this country, environment, and the world. These are, just like myself, often younger people who are also supporters of your group and other groups like it.

This wildlife issue seems important enough that I am feeling the need to write to you and ask you to please protect your efforts before people just tune you out like they do with so many issues that are presented in this way.
Thank you so much.

Sincerely,
Lisa (i sent them my name but removed it here for posting)


----- Original Message ----From: "Rodger Schlickeisen, Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund" To: Sent: Wednesday, September 3, 2008 4:24:22 PMSubject: Video: Sarah Palin's Shameful Record on Wolves

Dear Lisa,
Tonight Alaska Governor Sarah Palin will accept the Republican nomination for Vice President, a position that would put her second in line to be President of the United States. But before she accepts, I need your help to let America know where she stands on the brutal and needless aerial hunting of wolves and bears.
Watch our new video on Palin's awful record and share it with everyone you know who cares abut wildlife.

Warning: This video is extremely disturbing. It contains graphic images of aerial hunting of wolves -- a brutal and needless practice that Governor Palin has fought hard to promote and expand.
Despite strong scientific, ethical and public opposition to aerial hunting, Governor Palin has…
Proposed paying a $150 bounty for the left foreleg of each dead wolf.
Approved a $400,000 state-funded propaganda campaign to promote aerial hunting.
Introduced legislation to make it even easier to use aircraft to hunt wolves and bears.
If you care about wildlife, please watch this video right now -- and then share it with every friend, neighbor, conservationist and wildlife lover you know.
Tonight, all eyes will be on Governor Sarah Palin. Let's make sure the whole nation knows about her awful record on aerial hunting and protecting wildlife.
Respectfully,

Rodger SchlickeisenPresidentDefenders of Wildlife Action Fund..TABLE>
P.S. Please also share our video on blogs, social networks and elsewhere. I've pasted the link to the video below to help you spread the word:
http://actionfund.defenders.org/palinvideo


© Copyright 2008, Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund
This message was sent to asilartist@yahoo.com.Please do not respond to this message. Click here to update your information or unsubscribe.
Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund provides a powerful voice in Washington to Americans who value our conservation heritage. Through grassroots lobbying, issue advocacy and political campaigns, the Action Fund champions those laws and lawmakers that protect wildlife and wild places while working against those that do them harm.
Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund can be contacted at: 1130 17th Street, NWWashington, DC 20036

Paid for by Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund at http://www.defendersactionfund.org/ and not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee...

A Sunday to Remember

Noah, Lisa, Brian Vander Ark, Scott, Mason and Katherine after the show. (And I thought I was short compared to Scott!)

We had the best time this past Sunday! The weather was perfect after a very stormy night. The company was delightful and the music was awesome! We discovered some months ago that singer/songwriter Brian Vander Ark (lead of The Verve Pipe) was doing a second summer of his "Lawnchairs and Living Rooms" tour featuring his solo work as well as any requests from The Verve Pipe albums. After a short discussion, Scott and I decided that it was just too good of an opportunity to let pass. So we contacted his manager, and luckily secured one of the slots for the tour. After the date was selected we set up a time and then I created the playlist of requests, to which Brian graciously played as well as adding an on-the-fly rendition of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" that was fabulous.

We invited neighbors and friends as well as the school staff as well. The principal, Doug, of the elementary school that my kids attend is fantastic, not only knowing every child's name but truly knowing them besides. You'll hear him during the day saying things to a kid as he walks to his bus like "Hey Mark! How was your t-ball game?" And he honestly wants to know the answer. The kids love the guy and we have always found every answer we needed and every measure of help requested, so we all feel lucky to have him. Of course, he was invited to the event, and he and his wife attended.

When Doug arrived Brian was tuning his guitar and didn't see him right away. Of course I didn't think anything of it. Moments later I am busy getting hummus out of the refrigerator and I hear them excitedly "HEY MAN! OH WOW! It's been forever!" and happy hugs follow. It turns out, the school principal is related to Brian Vander Ark. They are cousins and played together a lot as kids. We're thinking this will only help Doug's street cred with the kids.

Anyway, the concert was really wonderful. Brian laughingly called me out as "a bit of a rebel" based on my set list. Hahaha! Those who know me know that there may be a wee bit of truth in that. We were lamenting the dreams of living in cities or edgier places full of creative inspirations and support. Then you have kids and you just don't want some guy asking your 3 year old for that gumball quarter, or dealing with the myriad of other priorities parenthood requires you to readjust. So, as parents we both ended up in 'the burbs'. GASP. He has a great song referring to it: Lily White Way, and if you haven't heard it, take a listen through his website http://www.brianvanderark.com/ . It received huge applause as well as hearty laughter throughout the song.

To any who live in West Michigan (Kzoo Mom of 2...listen carefully), he's doing a show with the full band, and his singer/songwriter wife, Lux Land, on January 24, 2009, at the Rockford Fine Arts Center. My kids are already saying "So, we're going, right?!"

Brian, Noah and Scott admiring kids singing post show. Yay! I love huggy people!

A Beautiful Visit

I've been away from the computer for awhile as I enjoyed hosting guests for a few weeks as well as taking a week away from home without computer or mobile technology of any kind (y bes, including using the cell phone).

Our friends were here from the Netherlands with their two little children. It was a great visit and we enjoyed all of it. Even after they have gone back home (no easy task since they were caught in a 3 hour delay in Chicago which caused them to missed their connection to Amsterdam from Zurich---another 4 hours waiting there) our kids are still speaking dutch. Sometimes it is on purpose, and sometimes it slips out before they have even noticed. Their kids were doing the same, especially their 3 year old son. It has been great to hear and see.

So what do you do with people who regularly travel the world who are now coming to see "America", but really plan to stay in Michigan the whole time? I warned that Michigan wasn't going to be like seeing America exactly. They were seeing, instead, Michigan. That was fine for them. But as hostess I was a little concerned at first. Looking into your own backyard and thinking about what to do was a challenge but a good experience too. I overlook a lot, I realized.

Michigan is full of beautiful freshwater beaches, for example. Especially along the west side of Michigan where we live. Oval Beach in Saugutuck is listed on Conde Nast's list of the top 25 most beautiful shorelines in the world. It was gorgeous. Our friends shunned the sunblock, favoring nothing or tanning oil. I teased Marlies that I was going to just rub some garlic on her and toss on some rosemary while she was at it. On the other hand, I rubbed on 50 spf liberally and I still freckled and my belly even burned. Johan was stunned and said "Doesn't the 50 mean you can be in the sun 50 times longer?" "Yes," I said, "and still I burned". Katherine thinks the next vacation should be in a cave. HA!

We visited Charlevoix and took a 2 hour boat ride to the remote Beaver Island where we had no tv or phones in our rooms at the resort. The island is mostly trees and one main street along the shore. The place is full of artists and naturalists as well as writers and anyone wanting to get away from a busy pace. It is great for that. We stayed a few nights enjoying the calm, some sights, shopping and great food and drink. We met a watercolor artist painting along one of our walks by the water. He was thrilled to learn our friends were from the Netherlands as he was from England himself. He lives in Chicago now and he and his wife were happy to escape for a while. The place isn't posh but it grows on you much in a way like some New England towns do. The locals expect your own independence while they share the island with you, but they're more than happy to help in anyway you need if you ask. There were no spas or pampering spots. The most polished space we saw was a restaurant at our hotel called Nina's where we enjoyed a fabulous dinner in the middle of Lake Michigan watching the sun set.

After a few days and nights there, we headed to Mackinac Island staying on Main Street and enjoying most of the sights to see on the island. We had a great time with perfect weather. The contrast between Beaver Island's quiet beauty and Mackinac Island's smiling fudge induced frenzy was a lot of fun. The kids and adults all enjoyed playing at the fort, watching fudge being made and maybe most of all just quiet walks with ice cream cones later in the nights when it quieted down on the Island and the lights of the Mackinaw Bridge were in full view. The sound of the waves lapping the shore as we licked our ice cream and talked quietly was perfect.

We did a lot of other things locally and even a short stay in Chicago. But much of our time was spent playing with the kids and enjoying the things I take for granted too often. Sometimes you don't have to go anywhere to make new discoveries or to remember the discoveries you forgot.